Villa Elisa: April 10, 2000

Hola mi familia, [tr: Hello, my family]

How's every little thing?  It's going pretty good here on the other side of the world.  My new companion's name is Elder Handy.  I'm in an area called Villa Elisa.  It's a city duct-taped to Asunción, just like Mesa, Tempe, and all those other cities are duct-taped to Phoenix.

Anyway, as I said before, stuffs are doing fine.  I learned that I can speak Spanish okay, but not near enough to carry a conversation, especially since I can't understand what they're saying half the time.  Elder Handy does all the talking.  Well, not all of it, but a heck of a lot more than I say.  During a first discussion, I talk about Joseph Smith and the First Vision and that's it.  Oh, well.

The people here are just awesome.  Since most of them don't have air conditioning, they sit outside in the shade (not that it's much better, but we can pick up a breeze outside).  This makes it really easy to go tracting, since we can just talk to them over the fence.  I don't think we do it enough, personally.  Sometimes I get the feeling that Elder Handy is a bit flojo [tr: lazy] (ask Dad, he'll definitely know what it means).  Oh, well.  What can ya do?

Let's see… um… we taught five charla ones (that would be a first discussion) since Thursday.  We did a little bit of reactivation.  One of the semi-actives went to church yesterday because we committed her to go.

Sacrament meeting was… interesting.  I directed the music, which was quite the experience because we don't have a pianist, and it seems the Paraguayans don't know how to read music or sing on the beat.  This was compounded by the fact that, of four hymns, I knew one of them (Dios da valor/God Speed the Right).  And we didn't even sing it.

Also, we had psycho kids running around, screaming their heads off, even during the sacrament and the four confirmations.  ¡Ay!  It was a bit difficult at times.

And then to top it all off, I was asked to bear my testimony in front of everybody.  Welcome to Paraguay, Elder Simper.  Good thing I can do that…

Ooo, guess what!  I get to walk everywhere!  It only took us about half an hour to go from our apartment to the chapel (which is actually a house) yesterday.  It took us about forty minutes to walk home from the house we were at last night.  We were walking pretty fast, too.  It's pretty tough, especially with the sun beating down…

Okay, enough whining.  The truth is I love it here.  It's hard work, but it it wasn't, then I'd be failing the Lord.  I'm very happy to be here.  Plus, I haven't gotten any weird parasites!  Yet…

Um.  Love ya!

Joe

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Mission Home: April 5, 2000

Dear Brother and Sister Simper,

How thrilled we are to receive your son in Paraguay today!  The arrival of new missionaries is always a highlight of our month.  Sister Cheney and I look forward to that first moment when our new Elders and Sisters step off the plane and into our hearts.

The purpose of this letter is simply to let you know that your son has arrived safely, as evidenced by the enclosed photograph taken at the mission home.  We bring the new missionaries there for lunch and a few hours of orientation before sending them to witness a baptismal service.  After a good night's sleep, they are assigned to their first companion and sent to work.  The enclosed map will give you some indication of where your son has been assigned to labor for these first few months.

We are so appreciative of the parents who do so much to contribute toward their son's preparation for his mission, and to their success during this important time in their lives.  We hope that you will be faithful in letter-writing, constantly encouraging your son to greater effort and dedication as a full-time missionary.  We promise that we will do all within our power to help and protect and sustain your son as he serves the Lord among the chosen people of Paraguay.

May the Lord bless you and your family.

Sincerely,

Craig S. Cheney
President
Paraguay Asuncion Mission

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Mission Home: April 5, 2000

To the Simper family:

Here I am, sitting in the mission home, writing to you.  We've spent the last… wow.  Six hours in orientation.  It didn't seem like it at all.  Anyway, the flight was great.  The two sisters gave out two Books of Mormon on the plan.  I didn't, 'cause I never got an English one.  I got a whole four hours of sleep, broken up in four one-hour sections.  Not good.  I'm totally exhausted, but I don't really feel tired.  Ya know what I'm saying?  We're about to go to a baptismal service.  No, I'm not doing anything but starting my mission here in Paraguay.  Well, I've only got one more thing to say.  As we were flying over Asunción, about to land, I felt like I was coming home.  I know this is where I'm supposed to be, and I am so happy to be here.  Oh, one more thing, my mission president, President Cheney, and his wife are awesome.  I love all of you.

Joe


Okay.  I have more to talk about.  My address here is:

Elder Joseph D. Simper
Casilla de Correos 818
Asunción, Paraguay 1209

Letters generally take ½ to 3 weeks to get home.  Packages cannot be over 4 pounds.  Packages that are overweight go through customs will be kept and opened.  It'll cost a bundle in both time and money to get them.  Make sure you put the green internation slip on all packages, describing what the package contains.  It doesn't have to be exactly what it is, because Paraguayans can't read English anyway.  They just want the green slip.  You can get that at the post office.  And finally, my email address is:

[ed: email address removed to fight against spam bots]

with Elder Joseph D. Simper as the subject.  I can't send, but I can receive.  P-day is Monday, so I'll write more then.  Love ya!

Joe

PS Remind me to tell you about the car ride to the baptism!  ¡Ay!

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Provo MTC: April 2, 2000

[ed: Some context.  This letter was written shortly after President Hinckley announced that new temples would be built in Asunción, Paraguay, where I would be serving as a missionary, and in Snowflake, Arizona, which is about thirty miles from my home.]

Fam:

Wee!  Temples in Asunción and Snowflake!  I am so excited!  And, and, and!  I'll be in Paraguay in THREE days!  Wahoo!  Oh, and I'll be seeing all y'all on Tuesday.  That's groovy, too.

Here's responses to stuff in the letter that accompanied the package (by the way, the jerky was great!):

I saw Brother Jones last night… [ed: my seminary teacher in high school]
No letter… :(  He might be too late.

I bought a coin map...
Neat-o!  That's cool.  I managed to acquire a 1999 Susan B. Anthony dollar, uh... a while ago.

Who do you know from Australia?
Heh, heh, heh.

I made an executive decision here about an hour ago.  Since I will probably have returned home when the Asuncion temple is dedicated, I am going to fly there.  What better excuse to visit my mission than a temple dedication?  Plus, it would be awesome to attend the temple with some of the people that I will baptize.

Just a quick note of my thoughts for today.  See all of you on Tuesday!

Joe

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Provo MTC: March 26, 2000

¡Familia! [tr: Family!]

¿Cómo está?  Estoy bien, pienso.  Es posible que esté equivocado, pero no pienso que sí.  De todos modos…  ¿Quieren una traducción ahora?  ¡Claro! [tr below]

How are you?  I'm good, I think.  It's possible that I'm mistaken, but I don't think so.  Anyway…  Do you want a translation now?  Sure!

Alrighty.  I'm gonna attack this monster letter now.  Here I go!

… Dad had an abdomen pain attack…
Oh, no!  That can't be good… [continue reading]

… he will be just fine!
Yay!  That's good!

So I wrote a speech and resigned from the board for health reasons…
I'm glad you got out of that, Mom.  There's been too much garbage going on with the school board lately.  I'm relieved that you don't have to be in the middle of it any more.

… Sarah has been called to be a counselor in the Beehive's!
Awesome!  ¡Felicitaciones, hermanita! [tr: Congratulations, little sister!]  I know you'll do a great job, Sarah.  Just remember that, as a leader, you are an example to the others.  Continue to lead a good life.  Something we hear a lot here is this: "Live so that those who know you, but don't know Jesus Christ will want to know him because they know you."  And one more thing: you go girl!  I am proud of you!

… Renaissance Festival.
Wee!  What fun!  That place is sooo cool!  Didja get the jester cap?

So, about the Guaraní scriptures&emdash;can you read them?
Heh.  Um.  No?  Let me share a scripture from it.

Ha che, Nefi, ha'e kuri che rúpe: Aháta ha ajapóta Ñandejára ojeruréva chéve, aikuaágui ha'e no me'êiha mba'eve tembiapoukapy omoîporã mboyve tape ojejapo haguã upe mba'e ojeruréva'ekue.

That was 1 Nephi 3:7.  Tough, no?  I hope to be able to read and speak Guaraní before I get home, but it won't be easy.

Oops.  Just dumped my water botter on my notebook.  That was smooth.  Oh, well.

My district is going to sing "We'll Bring the World His Truth" in sacrament meeting today.  We'll be doing it with another district.  They speak Mandarin Chinese.  It's gonna be so cool!  We'll sing the first verse in Spanish, then they'll sing the first verse in Mandarin, then we'll all sing the last two in English.  By the way, I bought a children's songbook in Spanish.  It didn't even cost me $4!

Hey, Dad.  Remember what you told me before I went to Canada?  "Honor your name" and be good and stuff like that?  Well, here's a little excerpt from a letter from Sara [ed: a friend that I met over the Internet.  I flew to Canada to visit her about a month before I entered the MTC.].  "Oh, my mom said to tell you that any letters you write here will be shared with the family… This is because she has pretty much adopted you now…"  Sounds like I did something right, ¿no?

Oh!  I guess I should talk a bit about my little enclosures.  I wanted to send something cool home to the fam, and I couldn't think of anything cooler than my nametag.  So I ordered one special for you guys.  Also, don't miss the HLJ ring for Sarah.  HLJ stands for "Haz lo justo", which is, of course, Spanish for "choose the right."  In addition, I've included pictures of each of the elders in my room, along with some others.  I especially like the prison picture.  Don't miss the Far Side cartoon!  It's about cows!

Okay, my pouch address will be as follows:

Elder Joseph D. Simper
Paraguay Asunción Mission
PO Box 30150
Salt Lake City, UT 84130-0150

Don't forget that only letters can be sent via pouch mail.  I don't wanna get in trouble.  I'll send my other address when I get it, in case you wanna send me pictures or cards or something.

Well, I need to go write a talk on love in case I get called on to speak in sacrament meeting.  I've got about an hour left.  Oops?  I think I'll be okay.

I love all you guys.  See you in NINE days!

Joe

PS Oh, no!  It starts at 1:30, not 2:30!  !Ay!  Sure hope they don't call on me…

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Provo MTC: March 20, 2000

Hey Fam!

Sorry for the delay and for the shortness of this letter. I'll write a better one soon.  I've just got a few important things to discuss.

First off, please find the included FLIGHT PLANS!!!  Woohoo!  Please note that I've got a slight lay-over in Dallas.  Could you see if Aunt Darcy and Uncle Brian can meet me at the airport?

Second, and nearly as important, I finished the Book of Mormon yesterday.  Awesome, no?  When I finished it, I moved my bookmark from the back of the book to the front.  Today, I'll start again.

Love to chat more, but I gotta go work now.  ¡Hasta pronto!  [tr: See you soon!]

Joe

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Provo MTC: March 11, 2000

To the family:

Woohoo!  A package full of nummies and a letter in the same week!  Yay!  Um... uh... yeah.  I'll get to the letters now.  First, the one on the AWESOME cow stationary:

...my retirement disability had been approved!
That's great news!  I finally got a at-home mommy!  But... I'm not at home to enjoy the at-home mommy... :(  Oh, well.  I'll survive!

If I were to go back to work, I'd lose money.  Pretty neat, huh?
That's all?  "Pretty neat"?  That is wonderful, spectacular, and flat-out groovy, baby!

Okay, now from the letter in the package:

...you should be buried up to your "hoo-hoo" by now.
This is interesting here 'cause I read it on... uh... Wednesday, I think.  Wednesday was as sunny as can be.  We didn't get snow 'til Thursday or Friday.

Do you get to go outside and play in the snow?
Well, we haven't left class for that purpose, but we can at other times (not now, though, 'cause it's all gone).  I got a (hopefully) nice picture of Elder Miller and I outside my building with the snow making a nice backdrop.  I'll send a copy when I get it developed.

...blisters...
Ouch?  I haven't got any blisters, yet, but a couple of the other elders... wait, yes, I have.  I got one little one on day two, but it didn't hurt or even last more than a day.  Elder Pribyl got a couple monsters, though.  I'm talkin' an inch across easy.

...enjoy the goodies...  I hope you like them...
Plain M&M's.  Peanuts.  Aunt Edwina's ginger cookies.  TEXAS SHEET CAKE.  How on earth could I NOT like them?

This week has been pretty routine, with the exception of one thing.  Well, two actually.  The first one is sad.  My favorite teacher, Hermana [tr: Sister] Hopkin has been whisked away from us.  A new district came in, and there aren't enough teachers. :(

The other one is happy.  Last night we were doing a lesson on helping others feel and recognize the Spirit.  I was sharing experiences back and forth and then I was struck, like lightning.  I had been praying for quite some time to know that the Book of Mormon is true.  I felt like I hadn't received an answer.  Last night I realized that the Holy Ghost has been testifying to truth to me every single time I read.  I now know that the Book of Mormon is true.  I'd also like to add that, if you really want an answer to your prayers, listen for it.

I love all of you.

Joe

PS Like my sticker?

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